...how hard can it be...

ii am at the point in my life where ii am strong enough to tell people how ii feel with no hesitation... some things are worded differently, just depends on who I'm talkin to... but ii think ii like someone so much that ii cant tell him... ii won't tell him... ii won't even show it the way ii want too... sometimes ii wanna call him && ii won't... ii think about him atleast 5 times out of everyday... but he will never know this!! ii guess I'm down playin the situation in hopes that my feelings will go away because ii dont know if he feels the same way... I'm not the type to put myself out there not knowin wat I'm goin 2 come back with... its hard enough hidin my true feelings
but when I'm around him it just makes it all the worse... lol ii get like a little ass kid all over again... but my ego won't allow me to show him any of this... ii know some part of him likes bein around me, enjoys my personality lol "he my nigga" ii mean if he didn't then ii wouldn't be writin this blog... but ii dont know how long its goin to take me 2 let him know... or if ii will ever let him know... the libra in me is @ its best in this situation!! good thing he dont read my blogs... haha

Perfect... am ii??

OCTOBER =PERFECT
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.
ii would like to think ii am all theses things!! so yea I'm a great person!! but wat happens when you have two of these types of people, how perfect can they be together?? just some shit im thinkin about right now!!

...is it a big deal...

my friends are ii are a very small tight circle... its only 5 of us!! (they know who they are) and ii love them all to death for all different reasons... ii have my bestest also too... but the big question of the night is... how big of a deal is it for your friends to like the person you are kickin it with?? its crazy cuz ii can argue both sides of this question..... but personally ii think it is... when there are social gatherings between my friends and ii... ii dont want it to be any uncomfortable silence, or distance.... its crazy cuz ii try to make an effort to make my friends "partners" feel comfortable... and ii want my friends to do the same... but what if they dont like him?? he cant come around? its a very hard situation to be in.... if ii am havin problems with that person that will ii be able to talk to my friends about it? or will the fact that they dont like him cloud their judgement?? damn its crazy... ii just want everyone to be a big happy family but ii know things dont always go that way... so hey...

...Flaws && all...

if u cant love me for my flaws then y love me @ all???

Flaws:

ii want things to go my way, and when they dont im irritated

ii curse a lot!! maybe more than a sailor

ii dont give people room to fuck up

ii hate being wrong

ii leave hair in the bathroom sometime

ii leave cups on the table sometime

ii go out a lot

ii have a lot of male friends

ii am slightly shallow... just a tad bit!

ii nag @ times...


ii am sure that there are more that ii cant think of right now.... but everyone has flaws, ii can admitt mine.... if u cant accept that then u cant accept me... fa real!!! thats all apart of me


Great Qualities:

Smart

Funny

im a motivator... ii want to do well and see other people do well

networking

great cook

a freak in the sheets and a lady in the streets

im a cleaner!! ii hate dirty houses!!

im strong!! im not a worrier.... ii dont dwell on the past

all momz love me!!

ii get my own money!!!

ii know how to love

ii watch sports

that is some of the great things about me!!! you cant have one part of me and not have the other... u have to have it all.... if u cant take me @ my worse wat makes u think u deserve me @ my BEST??? thats just something ii had on my mind!!!

Beyonce said it best

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...WTF...

and just like that another one bites the dust.... im so tired of dudes thinkin that im the type of girl to just be fuckin on??? like fa real... wat makes niggas think that... why because of the way ii dress when ii go out??? the shit ii say??? ii mean let me know wat it is, cuz ii dont know.... its a trip how they really think that im goin be all for it too, and for me sex is a big deal!! ii dont fuck on every dude that ii talk to shit some can tell u... we talked for a while and they never hit... but y is it that niggas think they gonna be fuckin me and thats it... ii dont do fuck buddies, ii dont waste my time with dudes if the shit aint goin no where?? y add to my count if ii dont have too?? im sayin in some situations hey a girls got needs but that dont mean we on sum shit like that... if the situation comes to that then ii want to be sure that ii am the only one he fuckin and im only fuckin him... its scary to know wat you can get infected with!! all because you are "fucking" im not man bashing or nothin like that, but fa real im not the fuck buddy type, and ii know im not... so y would ii put myself in that situation.. if ii care for someone ii dont want them fuckin on anyone else... ii aint gonna fuck on anyone that ii dont care about! PERIOD!! ii just cant stand that shit!! ii guess thats a downfall to my flitatious personality.... ii guess people wanna fuck TREE they dont wanna fuck SATRINA!!! people really only know TREE!!! they dont know Satrina.... but thats a whole different story!!!